IT'S MY BIRTHDAY...!

My birthday actually started with the reception at St. Mark Art Festival...The painting I entered won "first place." Entering just one and being accepted and winning a (big money) prize, I had my fifteen minutes of fame again. Winning was just a part of being "high" but, being with Kai in the same show was the whipped cream on top. Once in Virginia, I was in a show with Rodin when he was four and a half years old. He got the "best in show" and "first prize" the same evening. I did not win anything but got in the show.

This will be a big start for Kai's resume'. I don't want to look ahead for his future in arts, like I said before, "I don't consider it as a talent yet" but the juror did not agree with me. She accepted Kai's painting not knowing that he is just almost four years old. "Oh my God, Oh my God!' was her comment. Kai's painting was hung among the well seasoned painters in the community...and this makes me very proud of my protege'.

We had dinner at the VIP all you can eat restaurant...They were waiting for us and Kai handed me a card with "Happy Birthady Umpha." When we were entering, he noticed a cute little girl. We had our food and while eating, he kept looking where the girl was seated and finally blurted out that, "I like that girl," I'll marry her!" This make everybody laugh and Mike almost fell down from his chair. All the time while we were there, he kept looking at the girl and when the family passed by from the ice cream dispenser, he really turned his head to follow the girl with his eyes...I have no idea where he get the notion of getting married. I did not teach him that! It was a very nice and very amussing evening. We all laughed from Kai's antics.

So before we left, I brought him to the table of the girls' family, I told the parents that my grandson is in love with their daughter and would like to marry her. The little girl was not too shy, her name is Diana. Kai told them his name and how old he is. He said goodbye and the little girl sort of waved her hand too. I bet the parents were amused.

Tisha called as soon as they were at home. Kai wanted to go back to the restaurant because he was still hungry. He ate a lot, but the purpose of going back to the place was because the little girl was still there. He is starting very early...! I told Tisha that his behavior did not come from me but probably came from his great grandpa who was always a ladies man all his life. I am sure that he will be a very good looking guy when he grows up and I am sure that he will be a ladies man of his own...even the mother of the little girl commented that he is a good looking boy. I don't think he will have any trouble with the mothers in the future.

AT SEVENTY-FOUR: SOME THOUGHTS FOR KAI

When I was a little kid, adults used to bore me with their tedious diatribes about how hard things when they were growing up: what with walking miles to go to school; every morning...both ways...yadda. yadda. yadda.

I remember promising myself that when I grow up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they got it. I don't think I am guilty about it.

But now that...

I am over the ripe age of seniority, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. They got it so easy! I mean compared to my childhood, they live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but the kids today don't know how good they've got it.

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We actually had to write somebody a letter...with a pen! And then we had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napster! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it!! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#%! it all up!

And talk about hardship? you coldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to but a copy of "Nudist" magazine at the liquor store. Those were the options!

We didn't have craps like Call Waitng! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

We din't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you didn't have any idea who it was! It could be your mom, the school, your bookie, a collection agent, you just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! My time, we didn't even have the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and asteroids and the graphics were really outrageous!

At the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!!

There was no cable television, as a matter of fact television came to me in the late fifties. So, imagine...black and white on a small screen, no channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change channel and there was no Cartoon Network either You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Imagine no "Tom and Jerry" every day!

And we didn't have Microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a fire...imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove like an idiot.

That's exactly I am talking about! By the time you read this there will be more innovations that will make your life easier. So don't complain...when you read this , you will realize that you got it too easy. Don't get spoiled.